Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs)

Recently for fun, I took one of those personal quizzes in O The Oprah Magazine, November 2012 on page 112.  It was about "Feeling Good" about yourself.  I soon discovered something very special about where I stood on the sensitivity scale. The quiz was adapted from The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron (1996).  Further inquiry online produced a website by the author that opened more doors into familiar territory of personal discovery.  Here you can find the complete Self Test and see how sensitive you are too:  http://www.hsperson.com/index.html 

Then I bought the book, of course.  Much of it is over the top by getting into the subject way more than my interest can hold or care to expand.  But it does explain many things about me.  It explains why my father called me "a free spirit" and my mother would question why I was so sensitive when I was growing up.  I always would say to anyone who cared to know that it must be my Bohemian blood that makes me an unconventional non-conformist.  Yet I have always been highly organized and systematic in an out-of-the-box, high-energy sort of way that attracts attention from those few that can get close enough to appreciate my uniqueness.  I have also always found peace and comfort in the natural world and prefer it to social activity.  Ideally, I would consider it a perfect world to share appreciation and experiences with other people in a natural environment; especially outdoors.

"So I stand among you as one who offers a small message of hope, that first, there are always people who dare to seek on the margin of society, who are not dependent on social acceptance, not depending on social routine, and prefer a kind of free-floating existence under a state of risk. And among these people, if they are faithful to their own calling, to their own vocation, and to their own message from God, communication on the deepest level is possible. And the deepest level of communication is not communication, but communion. It is beyond words, and it is beyond speech, and it is beyond concept. Not that we discover a new unity. We discover an older unity... we already are one. But we imagine that we are not. And what we have to recover is our original unity. What we have to be is what we are."  ~Thomas Merton, a Catholic monk from a contemplative order.

HSPs are already on the margin a bit, Merton lays out another direction for us to move, one that is always available to us in various ways. It's a path where less is more and the more is well worth seeking.  It is simplicity.  It is calm.  It is home.

Here are some basic discoveries about HSPs:

Your trait is normal. It is found in 15 to 20% of the population--too many to be a disorder, but not enough to be well understood by the majority of those around you.

It is innate. In fact, biologists have found it to be in most or all animals, from fruit flies and fish to dogs, cats, horses, and primates. This trait reflects a certain type of survival strategy, being observant before acting. The brains of highly sensitive persons (HSPs) actually work a little differently than others.

You are more aware than others of subtleties. This is mainly because your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply. So even if you wear glasses, for example, you see more than others by noticing more.

You are also more easily overwhelmed. If you notice everything, you are naturally going to be overstimulated when things are too intense, complex, chaotic, or novel for a long time.

This trait is not a new discovery, but it has been misunderstood. Because HSPs prefer to look before entering new situations, they are often called "shy." But shyness is learned, not innate. In fact, 30% of HSPs are extroverts, although the trait is often mislabeled as introversion. It has also been called inhibitedness, fearfulness, or neuroticism. Some HSPs behave in these ways, but it is not innate to do so and not the basic trait.

Sensitivity is valued differently in different cultures. In cultures where it is not valued, HSPs tend to have low self-esteem. They are told "don't be so sensitive" so that they feel abnormal.

So now informed, I see my intuitiveness as one of my strongest assets.  When I started this blog a year and a half ago, somehow I knew how much on track I was with my true self.  I feel more validated after reading about HSPs.  I have been a confident person for most of my adult life but now I smile more knowing I'm not so alone and will seek out and understand others with similar sensitivities. 

I look forward to reading a recently purchased book,  A Unified Theory of Happiness  - An East Meets West Approach to Fully Loving Your Life by Andrea F. Polard PsyD.  I hope I will find peace and understanding by learning more about how other societies appreciate the traits of Highly Sensitive Persons. 

End of Growing Season

Our official frost date in SW Missouri is October 15th but many plants continue living for weeks after.  This year has been unusual in that we had an early spring, record breaking heat and drought in the summer, and now a wonderful fall that allowed us perfect weather for getting projects done outside. We still have many plants growing that came back after going dormant from the heat and drought. 

This growing season has been an especially intuitive time for me and my husband as we started earlier than most gardeners because it just felt right and it paid off as we did not get frosted out.  All our decisions were made at the right time allowing nature to lead the way.  We felt totally in tune with Mother Nature and had the most enjoyable season ever!  Of course, the fact that this is my first season being retired and becoming a Master Gardener had a lot to do with having so much fun as well as successes.

So here are some photos taken about a month after the official frost date and after several nights of a hard freeze.  Now the nights are mid-20's to 30's and the days are in the 50's.  We did have a couple days last week that were in the upper 70's!  Missouri weather is full of surprises and changes.

The sidewalk Keith made is now finished!  I don't know how we lived without it all these years as it is so useful especially on what used to be a sloped area.  He did a great job!

Keith also did a fine job transplanting the monkey grass (liriope) from under the tree along the new sidewalk.  There are so much more available to transplant as he hardly made a dent in it.  We will continue to transplant next spring especially under the redbuds and along walkways.

This was a big job after the cedar tree was cut down and burned in the ditch.  We left about 10' of cedar tree trunk for decorative purpose.  We may allow a large wild grapevine to grow over it and have left one that had been there for years.  The large boulders came from when the house builders blasted the rock out to build the basement in 1978.  This is city property and I will try to maintain it by keeping the weeds out and planting day lilies and iris and native plants.  It was quite a big job removing all the saplings but we had the right tool!  I have already planted many dozens of old iris and as many day lilies the last couple years that have taken hold well for a total of about a 20' stretch.  I hope to expand it.

The area in front of the old cedar tree trunk has been worked up to accommodate a native plant area next spring.  I have already transplanted dozens of old iris to hold the steep bank along with lamb's ear and several other native plants in the daisy family.  I was given cleome seeds from a Master Gardener member (Deanna) and planted a 10' line in front of the cedar tree truck.  Also, I planted a circle of special purple poppy seed that will expand next spring.

 

This overview of the new Native Plant Garden is from the deck.  It shows the unplanted areas covered in plastic weighted down with wood logs.  

 



Covering a newly weeded area with plastic helps keep the weeds from sprouting next spring and the bed will be ready to plant.  This works better than chemicals but it has to be done a season ahead.

Hard to see in this photo but there are four new fruit trees just planted in the grass yard.  They are dwarf sweet cherry, sour cherry and two pears.  This is out third attempt to grow fruit trees in 35 years.  I hope this time is successful as it will be the last!

These  three flower beds are viewed from the new sidewalk.  The garden bordering the sidewalk is a new late-blooming (late July to late August) lily garden.  Keith just built some steps alongside the boxwood hedge to help me access these gardens.  The middle garden is Daffney's grave site that will be planted in colorful annuals and sweet potato vines each year.  The lower garden is my new iris bed.

 

This is a view of those same three gardens from the lower end in front of the garden shed. It was quite a job cutting back the old fashion roses that grew over the wood fence and invaded these three gardens.  There is more pruning to do in the spring.  The lowest area in the photo has a knock-out rose bush.  In the upper right side are two new Crepe Myrtle bushes (Tonto) in front of the boxwood hedge.

 





Below the knock-out rose bush and new iris bed is a new "mystery lily" bed.  This area was cleared out to make room for so many lily transplants (bulbs) from my original early lily garden (early June to mid-July).  That original early lily garden is seven years old and this was the first time I dug up the babies.  It sure needed it!  I had so many that I planted bulbs in two additional gardens.  When they come up next year, I will identify and label to transplant to a more permanent bed.  I hope to give away all the excess plants when I know what they are.  Master Gardeners is a good place to donate as we have a plant sale to raise funds.  I will always hold onto a large number of prime plants for when my daughter in Branson builds her house and needs landscaping plants.

This is the original early lily bed in front of the boxwood hedge.  This is where the prime early lily plants will be located.  The lovely reddish bush to the right of the boxwood is a St. John's Wort bush.  It has gorgeous yellow flowers in the spring and summer and is a popular medicinal herb.

This large area along the concrete wall below the carport is now planted with dozens of the lily bulbs and plants that were excess from the early lily garden mentioned above.  It usually has hollyhocks and poppies that will likely come back in the spring.  This is the area we would like to build a lean-to greenhouse in the near future as it faces south. For now it looks like that may not happen at least until I find a more permanent home for the lilies late next fall.

This is yet another lily garden located behind the mailbox.  3/4 of the area has calla lilies and I just planted three highly scented 4-6' late-blooming lilies directly behind the mailbox. 

In the vegetable garden area are some herbs that are still available for use and will likely come back in the spring.  This is cilantro.

                                                                   This herb is thyme.

                                                               This herb is oregano.

 

There are two types of the sage herb.

 

We like the vegetable kale.  This is only three plants.  They love to grow in cooler weather and will likely be there most of the winter.  It is good to have fresh greens such a long time!

Here you can see the kale with a heavy frost still on it.  Doesn't bother it a bit!

I cut back my rosemary herb and will soon cover it with straw.  Next to it are some leeks.

Next to my swing I have a large area filled with lovely-scented lemon balm which makes a great tea and is a good medicinal herb.

On the other side of my swing is so much peppermint herb.  It is available most of the winter.

In the garden alongside the driveway is one lavender plant that has been cut back and will be covered soon.  There are more lavender plants in the front yard too. The large mum is many years old and is the last to bloom. 

 

Hanging on the wall inside the carport are all the herbs and lavender naturally drying for use this year when the fresh are not available. 

 

The only thing left to do before spring is to find some manure to place on the vegetable gardens so it can decompose over winter.  Last spring we were fortunate to find rabbit manure which we placed all around all the gardens because it does not need to decompose and doesn't burn like cow or horse manure.  That job can be done anytime now and is best when it is cold outside.

 

Otherwise, the planning and seed ordering begins again as soon as the 2013 catalogs are available, if not before!  As you can see, we are all about lilies and iris in addition to common herbs and vegetables mostly.  We get our vegetable and herbs seeds and plants locally.  My new favorite sources for lilies and iris are: 

 

B&D Lilies        http://www.bdlilies.com/free-stuff.html 

 

Schreiners Iris Gardens    http://www.schreinersgardens.com/