Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs)

Recently for fun, I took one of those personal quizzes in O The Oprah Magazine, November 2012 on page 112.  It was about "Feeling Good" about yourself.  I soon discovered something very special about where I stood on the sensitivity scale. The quiz was adapted from The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron (1996).  Further inquiry online produced a website by the author that opened more doors into familiar territory of personal discovery.  Here you can find the complete Self Test and see how sensitive you are too:  http://www.hsperson.com/index.html 

Then I bought the book, of course.  Much of it is over the top by getting into the subject way more than my interest can hold or care to expand.  But it does explain many things about me.  It explains why my father called me "a free spirit" and my mother would question why I was so sensitive when I was growing up.  I always would say to anyone who cared to know that it must be my Bohemian blood that makes me an unconventional non-conformist.  Yet I have always been highly organized and systematic in an out-of-the-box, high-energy sort of way that attracts attention from those few that can get close enough to appreciate my uniqueness.  I have also always found peace and comfort in the natural world and prefer it to social activity.  Ideally, I would consider it a perfect world to share appreciation and experiences with other people in a natural environment; especially outdoors.

"So I stand among you as one who offers a small message of hope, that first, there are always people who dare to seek on the margin of society, who are not dependent on social acceptance, not depending on social routine, and prefer a kind of free-floating existence under a state of risk. And among these people, if they are faithful to their own calling, to their own vocation, and to their own message from God, communication on the deepest level is possible. And the deepest level of communication is not communication, but communion. It is beyond words, and it is beyond speech, and it is beyond concept. Not that we discover a new unity. We discover an older unity... we already are one. But we imagine that we are not. And what we have to recover is our original unity. What we have to be is what we are."  ~Thomas Merton, a Catholic monk from a contemplative order.

HSPs are already on the margin a bit, Merton lays out another direction for us to move, one that is always available to us in various ways. It's a path where less is more and the more is well worth seeking.  It is simplicity.  It is calm.  It is home.

Here are some basic discoveries about HSPs:

Your trait is normal. It is found in 15 to 20% of the population--too many to be a disorder, but not enough to be well understood by the majority of those around you.

It is innate. In fact, biologists have found it to be in most or all animals, from fruit flies and fish to dogs, cats, horses, and primates. This trait reflects a certain type of survival strategy, being observant before acting. The brains of highly sensitive persons (HSPs) actually work a little differently than others.

You are more aware than others of subtleties. This is mainly because your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply. So even if you wear glasses, for example, you see more than others by noticing more.

You are also more easily overwhelmed. If you notice everything, you are naturally going to be overstimulated when things are too intense, complex, chaotic, or novel for a long time.

This trait is not a new discovery, but it has been misunderstood. Because HSPs prefer to look before entering new situations, they are often called "shy." But shyness is learned, not innate. In fact, 30% of HSPs are extroverts, although the trait is often mislabeled as introversion. It has also been called inhibitedness, fearfulness, or neuroticism. Some HSPs behave in these ways, but it is not innate to do so and not the basic trait.

Sensitivity is valued differently in different cultures. In cultures where it is not valued, HSPs tend to have low self-esteem. They are told "don't be so sensitive" so that they feel abnormal.

So now informed, I see my intuitiveness as one of my strongest assets.  When I started this blog a year and a half ago, somehow I knew how much on track I was with my true self.  I feel more validated after reading about HSPs.  I have been a confident person for most of my adult life but now I smile more knowing I'm not so alone and will seek out and understand others with similar sensitivities. 

I look forward to reading a recently purchased book,  A Unified Theory of Happiness  - An East Meets West Approach to Fully Loving Your Life by Andrea F. Polard PsyD.  I hope I will find peace and understanding by learning more about how other societies appreciate the traits of Highly Sensitive Persons. 

End of Growing Season

Our official frost date in SW Missouri is October 15th but many plants continue living for weeks after.  This year has been unusual in that we had an early spring, record breaking heat and drought in the summer, and now a wonderful fall that allowed us perfect weather for getting projects done outside. We still have many plants growing that came back after going dormant from the heat and drought. 

This growing season has been an especially intuitive time for me and my husband as we started earlier than most gardeners because it just felt right and it paid off as we did not get frosted out.  All our decisions were made at the right time allowing nature to lead the way.  We felt totally in tune with Mother Nature and had the most enjoyable season ever!  Of course, the fact that this is my first season being retired and becoming a Master Gardener had a lot to do with having so much fun as well as successes.

So here are some photos taken about a month after the official frost date and after several nights of a hard freeze.  Now the nights are mid-20's to 30's and the days are in the 50's.  We did have a couple days last week that were in the upper 70's!  Missouri weather is full of surprises and changes.

The sidewalk Keith made is now finished!  I don't know how we lived without it all these years as it is so useful especially on what used to be a sloped area.  He did a great job!

Keith also did a fine job transplanting the monkey grass (liriope) from under the tree along the new sidewalk.  There are so much more available to transplant as he hardly made a dent in it.  We will continue to transplant next spring especially under the redbuds and along walkways.

This was a big job after the cedar tree was cut down and burned in the ditch.  We left about 10' of cedar tree trunk for decorative purpose.  We may allow a large wild grapevine to grow over it and have left one that had been there for years.  The large boulders came from when the house builders blasted the rock out to build the basement in 1978.  This is city property and I will try to maintain it by keeping the weeds out and planting day lilies and iris and native plants.  It was quite a big job removing all the saplings but we had the right tool!  I have already planted many dozens of old iris and as many day lilies the last couple years that have taken hold well for a total of about a 20' stretch.  I hope to expand it.

The area in front of the old cedar tree trunk has been worked up to accommodate a native plant area next spring.  I have already transplanted dozens of old iris to hold the steep bank along with lamb's ear and several other native plants in the daisy family.  I was given cleome seeds from a Master Gardener member (Deanna) and planted a 10' line in front of the cedar tree truck.  Also, I planted a circle of special purple poppy seed that will expand next spring.

 

This overview of the new Native Plant Garden is from the deck.  It shows the unplanted areas covered in plastic weighted down with wood logs.  

 



Covering a newly weeded area with plastic helps keep the weeds from sprouting next spring and the bed will be ready to plant.  This works better than chemicals but it has to be done a season ahead.

Hard to see in this photo but there are four new fruit trees just planted in the grass yard.  They are dwarf sweet cherry, sour cherry and two pears.  This is out third attempt to grow fruit trees in 35 years.  I hope this time is successful as it will be the last!

These  three flower beds are viewed from the new sidewalk.  The garden bordering the sidewalk is a new late-blooming (late July to late August) lily garden.  Keith just built some steps alongside the boxwood hedge to help me access these gardens.  The middle garden is Daffney's grave site that will be planted in colorful annuals and sweet potato vines each year.  The lower garden is my new iris bed.

 

This is a view of those same three gardens from the lower end in front of the garden shed. It was quite a job cutting back the old fashion roses that grew over the wood fence and invaded these three gardens.  There is more pruning to do in the spring.  The lowest area in the photo has a knock-out rose bush.  In the upper right side are two new Crepe Myrtle bushes (Tonto) in front of the boxwood hedge.

 





Below the knock-out rose bush and new iris bed is a new "mystery lily" bed.  This area was cleared out to make room for so many lily transplants (bulbs) from my original early lily garden (early June to mid-July).  That original early lily garden is seven years old and this was the first time I dug up the babies.  It sure needed it!  I had so many that I planted bulbs in two additional gardens.  When they come up next year, I will identify and label to transplant to a more permanent bed.  I hope to give away all the excess plants when I know what they are.  Master Gardeners is a good place to donate as we have a plant sale to raise funds.  I will always hold onto a large number of prime plants for when my daughter in Branson builds her house and needs landscaping plants.

This is the original early lily bed in front of the boxwood hedge.  This is where the prime early lily plants will be located.  The lovely reddish bush to the right of the boxwood is a St. John's Wort bush.  It has gorgeous yellow flowers in the spring and summer and is a popular medicinal herb.

This large area along the concrete wall below the carport is now planted with dozens of the lily bulbs and plants that were excess from the early lily garden mentioned above.  It usually has hollyhocks and poppies that will likely come back in the spring.  This is the area we would like to build a lean-to greenhouse in the near future as it faces south. For now it looks like that may not happen at least until I find a more permanent home for the lilies late next fall.

This is yet another lily garden located behind the mailbox.  3/4 of the area has calla lilies and I just planted three highly scented 4-6' late-blooming lilies directly behind the mailbox. 

In the vegetable garden area are some herbs that are still available for use and will likely come back in the spring.  This is cilantro.

                                                                   This herb is thyme.

                                                               This herb is oregano.

 

There are two types of the sage herb.

 

We like the vegetable kale.  This is only three plants.  They love to grow in cooler weather and will likely be there most of the winter.  It is good to have fresh greens such a long time!

Here you can see the kale with a heavy frost still on it.  Doesn't bother it a bit!

I cut back my rosemary herb and will soon cover it with straw.  Next to it are some leeks.

Next to my swing I have a large area filled with lovely-scented lemon balm which makes a great tea and is a good medicinal herb.

On the other side of my swing is so much peppermint herb.  It is available most of the winter.

In the garden alongside the driveway is one lavender plant that has been cut back and will be covered soon.  There are more lavender plants in the front yard too. The large mum is many years old and is the last to bloom. 

 

Hanging on the wall inside the carport are all the herbs and lavender naturally drying for use this year when the fresh are not available. 

 

The only thing left to do before spring is to find some manure to place on the vegetable gardens so it can decompose over winter.  Last spring we were fortunate to find rabbit manure which we placed all around all the gardens because it does not need to decompose and doesn't burn like cow or horse manure.  That job can be done anytime now and is best when it is cold outside.

 

Otherwise, the planning and seed ordering begins again as soon as the 2013 catalogs are available, if not before!  As you can see, we are all about lilies and iris in addition to common herbs and vegetables mostly.  We get our vegetable and herbs seeds and plants locally.  My new favorite sources for lilies and iris are: 

 

B&D Lilies        http://www.bdlilies.com/free-stuff.html 

 

Schreiners Iris Gardens    http://www.schreinersgardens.com/

 

Bicycling Katy Trail - Windsor to Sedalia

On the beautiful late October Sunday, I met my bikin' buddy Carmen and her 13 year old son Chase at Windsor.  Keith, Carmen and I had biked the Clinton to Windsor trail segment together a couple weeks previously.  This trail segment from Windsor to Sedalia Train Depot is 22 miles.  We then would return for a total of 44 miles round trip. 

This likely was the last ride this year for me as the weather gets more unpredictable and the trail heads get farther from home.  I had biked the whole trail twice; once by myself in 7 days/6 nights in 2003 and with Keith in segments each weekend over a couple months in 2000.  I have also biked Clinton to Sedalia and Jefferson City to Hartsburg more times than I can remember over the last 15 years.  It is fun to bike with Carmen and her son who are just starting to discover this wonderful trail!

                                                                    Carmen and Chase

                                  The Sedalia Train Depot was closed on Sundays...too bad. I'm sure we will be back another day.

                                                       Native plant garden at the depot

                                    Carmen and Chase ready for the return trip back to Windsor

For more information about the Katy Trail State Park:

 http://mostateparks.com/park/katy-trail-state-park

Wine Time in Hermann, Missouri

The wine industry in Missouri has more than a 150 year history.  Please watch the video on this link and you will see one of the main attractions for us and why we choose Missouri as our home.  Keith and I have grown in Missouri in many ways since we first moved here in 1978 and so has the wine industry.  I believe we compliment each other and have aged beautifully!

http://www.missouriwine.org/history

                         Here I am on the main street in downtown Hermann.  Grapes are everywhere!

This restaurant is located at the Stone Hill Winery in Hermann.  It is well known as having the best German food.  Keith had the schnitzel and I had the sauerbraten.  We both had sides of red cabbage and Germain potato salad which is a hot dish.  OMG it was good!  Here is the current menu for Oktoberfest: 

http://www.stonehillwinery.com/locations/hermann/restaurant/October2005.aspx

We purchased our favorite wines and staff helped us load to our car in a golf cart.  We had a great deal available at this time.  Several kinds were sold as 'buy one case get one case free!'  We choose the 2011 Vignoles (white semi-sweet) for the two cases.  A case of  2009 Norton (dry red) was one third off.  What a deal!  We always participate in the wine-tasting.  This year we went on the tour again for $2.50 each which ends at a more extensive tasting room than if you just walked in without paying for the tour.  Generally, they charge $3.00 to sample six different wines or $.50 each for a limited variety.  So take the tour and try more!

One wine that was not available for tasting because of the limited quantity available was the 2010 Norton from the local Cross J Vineyard produced and bottled by Stone Hill Winery.  The growers had exceptional soil conditions and it was aged in the French oak barrels instead of the local produced oak barrels.  The difference is a smoother wine that tastes more like a mature Norton aged at least five years.  We had a blind taste test when we got home over the next couple days to see if we could tell any differences between a 2003 Oak Glenn Norton, the 2010 Cross J Norton, and  the 2009 Stone Hill Norton.  Our conclusion was that the older the Norton, the better, of course, but the 2010 Cross J Norton was almost as good as the 2003 Oak Glenn Norton.  We believe the 2009 Stone Hill Norton is very good and it will improve as it ages if we can be disciplined and only drink a bottle once a month for the typical 6 months of the year we drink wine regularly.  Like the 2003 Oak Glenn Norton, we will hold back the rest to age and purchase more next year. 

Norton is aged for no less than three years before selling.  We have a couple bottles of 2003 Oak Glenn Norton in our home cooler bought in 2008 that will be used within the next year as they will be ten years old.  We understand that 10-12 years is the best.  The white wines are best to have chilled and consumed sooner rather than later.  The reds are best at room temperature and should be aged.  We did buy one bottle of the Norton from Cross J Vineyard to bring home.  It was $10 more per bottle than the regular Norton which is about $25 for 2009 right now. Norton is the highest price wine and definitely the best in our opinion.  We were fortunate to have run across this one third off sale for Norton here at Stone Hill!

For more information about Stone Hill Winery:  http://www.stonehillwinery.com/default.aspx

There are seven wineries within a few miles of Hermann and there is a shuttle available to take tours.  Over the years, Keith and I have checked them all out and also many others in around the state.  In addition to Stone Hill Winery in Hermann, we like to visit Oak Glenn Winery which is about 2 1/2 miles outside of Hermann.  The scenery is breathtaking and the music is more to our liking most of the time.  They also have the very best Norton to drink by the glass or bottle as they do not sell any Norton before aging five years.  Yes, it is expensive at $35/bottle or $5 per glass.  This trip we had a glass each as we enjoyed the view.  In 2008, we bought a case from Oak Glenn and it is from this we have only two bottles left.  Another favorite that was already sold out and none available for tasting is Saint Vincent...next time we hope to purchase some.  Something to keep in mind for future wine purchases would be the fact that the 2012 drought will likely produce a better wine because of the stress the grapes endured which concentrated the flavors and the limited quantity.  A 2012 Norton will be much sought after but will not be available until at least 2015.

We love to sit on the lovely covered porch for the view and music.  There was a brief rain shower so the outside areas were wet at this time.  This was a Sunday crowd.  Every Saturday in October the place is very full and lively!

                                              View from Oak Glenn Winery covered porch

                                     An awesome view of the vineyards and bright fall colors

For more information about Oak Glenn Winery:  www.oakglenn.com

Getting Busy in Autumn

After a record 2012 summer drought, Keith and I were more than ready to get some things done outside that couldn't be done in the awful heat.  Before the first glorious rainfall was over after that drought, we were out in the yard getting busy. 

Keith had purchased a sapling puller from a company in Canada and gave it a good work out after the rain soaked the soil well. 

Then I got busy with transplanting since rain-time is the best time.  It was not long after the rain that most of the plants around the yard were refreshed and looking good.  The drought from the past summer had come earlier than usual so many plants had gone into a dormancy with many leaves crumbing at touch.  Amazingly, a few weeks after the rainfalls, many plants bloomed like it was springtime!

Transplanting potted plants into the gardens where dried-up flowers from the drought were removed

                                          A few short weeks later, the garden is flourishing!

                         A new garden spot below the mailbox has drought-tolerant plants now

Dozens of 35 year old iris' were transplanted to the slope along the street while new iris are planted here

            Lilac usually bloom in early spring.  Here is a late bloomer again in the fall.

                   The sweet potato vines came alive again at both Sassy and Daffney's grave sites

In between the fall rains, Keith and I got busy making plans for additional projects around the yard.  We went to the SW Field Day at Mt. Vernon Extension Center where there were many workshops and helpful information available.  Hundreds of people attended.  We learned about the American Beauty Bush and want to have one in our yard.  We learned about which fruit trees do well.  We want to build a simple greenhouse and found just the right example here.  We learned about it last spring and waited until today to see it in person and take notes.  Hopefully, we can make it real in our yard next year.

Of course, I found time to get busy with the Master Gardener group in Hickory County.  Here we had a fun work day at the McCarty Greenhouse washing plant pots getting them ready for next season.  There was a barbecue afterwards.

Adding to our social life were some local wild neighbors come to visit.  Tuffy, the Hemingway cat with six toes on each paw is a daily visitor and is always welcome to keep us company and get a good petting.  For the past several weeks, we have had a new visitor everyday...a vixen!  She is not afraid of us and I believe she has been watching us for a long time.  She has a sore foot and may have shortened her hunting territory because of her injury.  I hope she gets well soon.  I have been leaving food out for her although she helps herself to what's left in the garden and in the compost pile.  The young deer take their time under our oak tree eating the acorns.  they do not mind that we watch them...for now.  A couple days ago, we found a large scat pile in the carport.  The suet bird feeder was torn down from the back deck and I am missing my old garden shoes; one gone the day after the first one was missing.  We set the trap in the carport with a boiled egg and half a suet cake.  We caught a large raccoon who was transported to a new lake home.

                                                                        Foxy Lady

                                                             Young deer eating acorns

                                             Raccoon ready to move to new lake home

Finally, Keith and I have been Getting Busy with major projects that include sanding and staining three exterior doors, building a concrete pathway and cutting down a cedar tree.  Keith had taken a week off from his job.  Usually we go to Hot Springs, Arkansas this time of year for some spa time but not this year so we could get stuff done and save money that will be needed for our son's wedding in December.  All was completed in time for Oktoberfest in Hermann, Missouri last Sunday where we celebrated all that we have accomplished recently. 

Keith machine sanded and I stained the exterior siding in the front of the house.  The front door was hand sanded over a couple weeks in the detail areas then machine sanded and stained in one day.  I have also stained the fences in the yard not pictured here.  All are a teak brown.

The front door also had the brass hardware polished for the first time in 35 years!

The same hand sanding was done for the kitchen door details around the windows and indented areas and then the door was removed like the front door where it could be machine sanded then stained.

Here is the basement door in process.  The hand sanding was already done taking the usual 2-3 days of 2-3 hours.  Then it was removed and placed on sawhorses for the machine sanding.  It was very helpful to have the air compressor available to blow away the sawdust during the process.

You can see the difference in the first machine sanding with course sandpaper which is needed to remove the 35 year old finish and protective coating that was nearly worn off in places.  A second sanding with finer and paper helped to smooth the raised grain better.

The raised grain  before first sanding was very weather worn.  All the doors were in similar degrees of being weather worn after 35 years.

The basement door is finished and set to dry.  It will then be hung and the windows cleaned.

Keith had dug a pathway for the concrete forms previously with some leveling done last year.  He built the forms and used our electric mixer to mix the individual bags of concrete mix.  He did all the forms and mixed and poured the concrete over a few days.

He worked in sections and then connected the sections to keep it all nice and level

The building inspector from the neighborhood Fox Network came around daily to issue the proper permits and even gave a stamp of approval on the wet cement :)

This large cedar tree was damaged several years ago when we felled another tree that was growing too close to our house.  It had since grown many vines and was not in good shape.  Keith left about 15' of stump to allow a decorative cedar post.  We still have to burn the three piles of branches when they dry out soon.

The last two days of Keith's vacation was spent enjoying fruits of our labors especially a couple bottles from the three cases of wine we just purchased at Stone Hill Winery in Hermann!  All we have left to do from our plans this year would be planting some special lilies and four fruit trees that are on order and scheduled to arrive in November.